How to Develop an Unbreakable Heart
In 2016, I dated more than ever. It was AWFUL. Things have happened to me that I have only seen on TV. Like, where did this horrible men come from all of a sudden? I had asked God not to bring any men across my path unless it was The One. I was chillin’ up until March, when I met a guy randomly at the store. He was super cute, came from a great family, and had a little change in his pocket. He was everything I wanted…until he told me he was engaged to another woman the whole time. Obviously, that ended, and I moved on to more terrible choices. The oddest thing happened, though: none of these men were able to break my heart. Yes, they hurt me, and some more than others, but my heart was never truly broken, and it wasn’t until I sat down with a friend for a catch-up session that I realized why…
My friend was trying to cheer me up, telling me that I deserve the best from God and people, and that I do so much for people, and then it dawned on me:
I find the people God has strategically placed in my life so important – my family, my close friends, people who I don’t even know who need help (poor, heartbroken, low self-esteem, generally unhappy, sick, etc.) – and their needs so pressing, that right now, dating seems a tad trivial. The boy/girl thing, the chase, the pining – it’s all pointless at the moment. Sure, I want to be a wife. I can’t wait (I can kinda wait) to be a mother. But at this moment, I am neither. Thus, I can be entirely selfish with my time and decide who I give it to, and the citizens of this world are so important to me that if I want to, I can give them all the time I have without answering to anyone but God, and I think He’s OK with that.
There’s a song called “Hosanna” by Hillsong that says a line I have always loved: “Break my heart for what breaks Yours,” meaning “God, give me a passion for Your people and the world You created.” I sing that line with my eyes closed, really asking God for that. Well, be careful what you wish for! God has awakened in me a new passion to give my time and attention to the things that are on His mind and in His heart.
People who have nothing to do with my destiny have never been able to break my heart because it is already sweetly broken for the best reasons. I care most about what Jesus cares about. HE broke my heart so these miscellaneous “he’s” couldn’t, and as long as I keep my eyes on Him, He will never allow anyone to do that. I have an unbreakable heart.