5 Things Not to Do After a Break-Up
by Misha Palmer
Breaking up is indeed hard to do. Let’s face it, we’ve all been dumped a time or two and have experienced traumatizing heartbreak from losing that special someone. Everyone can agree that being on the opposite end of hearing “it’s over” is not only jilting, it can be devastating. The feelings that rush in after hearing “we’re done” or coming home to an empty house can be indescribable. But life doesn’t end with someone not wanting you, or you not wanting to be with someone. It goes on. Let’s start by saying say amen to that!
So while you may be trying to gather your bearings and move past this, here are 5 things NOT to do right after a break-up.
1. Do not stop yourself from crying or allow anyone to tell you not to cry. If you are indeed human, having an emotional reaction to something as heartbreaking as a break-up is normal. Cry. And cry some more if you have to. It’s absolutely OK to have feelings of sadness, especially in a time like this. You have just experienced a loss—a death even. Crying is a great way to express yourself and release hormones that may be causing you anxiety. Let it go.
2. Do not look at old photos of you and the ex. While there will be times when you may want to reminisce, trying to relive those moments of “happiness” you might have once shared isn’t the best. You need time to heal. Give yourself that time to process what’s happening. You’re going to need to come to grips with your new reality, which may be the very fact that you are now once again single.
3. Do not speak negatively or wish ill will towards your ex. It’s important to always remember that words have power. And we always want to treat others as we would want to be treated. So keep your cool and keep your thoughts clean. You may not agree with everything your ex did, or how they might have mishandled your heart, and that is OK. Remember, life will go on and you will need all the positivity in this next phase of your new life.
4. Do not seek closure in the wrong places. Oftentimes, when someone breaks up with us, we find ourselves on the other side of the open-ended question—why? You may feel the urge to immediately turn to family members and friends of your ex for the closure you so desperately seek. While they may have been privy to some intrical factors in your relationship, they too may not have your best interest of healing at heart. They may only care about protecting their loved one, which may make you feel worse, and/or question yourself in unhealthy ways.
5. Do not isolate yourself. There’s no doubt you will need time to process. And most importantly you will need time to heal. Just like any broken bone or bruise you suffer physically, your heart internally will need to be patched up. But you never want to go through your now-what moment alone. Now is the best time to draw near to your loved ones—your own family and friends. You don’t have to go at heartbreak alone. Let those that love you, love you.